When the Bubble Pops

It's been a journey. I came home from a picture perfect visit from our future home country (with the exception of thinking we had lost our passports for one day) with visions of a beautiful home with a big kitchen, room for the kids to play, sunny days on our balcony, and friendly strangers at the park. Home, sweet, future, home.

Not one week later our friends and other foreigners' lives were turned upside down. With no warning and without legal due process, dozens of people were asked to leave the country. Our key leader, one of the most important people in our company and in our family's decision to work with this company in this place, was asked to leave and never return. He raised his two kids in this country. He pioneered humanitarian aid work there. He's enabled dozens more to do good work for this country that he loves. Then, within 24 hours, he had to leave never to return. His wife and daughter were allowed to stay until his daughter finishes high school in May. His wife is having to pack up their 15+ years of life alone. And this is just one of the families!

It was a dramatic 'pop' to my newly formed bubble of bliss. We have always known the risk that we take trying to work in our future home, i.e., being asked to leave, but it has not been done for decades in our neck of the woods except to those folks who were quite visible and public with their work. We never thought it would happen like this.

Once again I had fallen in love with the idea of home, of making a home. After this incident I had to consider what it might mean for that love affair if we were told to leave (now a much more realistic possibility). I'd lose that big kitchen, the balcony, those friendly strangers who would have become my dear friends, all in an instant. Nothing is permanent. Even when we finally get to where we're going the proverbial open hand will have to be in place. But is that what real treasures or valuables that would be lost? Oh, the fruit of labor that would be lost! That is the real tragedy! The sacrifice made so that others would know such precious Truth! Forget the kitchen, the house, the love, tears, sweat, sacrifice, time...would it feel like a waste? Or robbed? I would be robbed of my friends and investment in these dear ones without just cause! Oh, to trust the Lord...it is a heavy thing.

I'll still make whatever house we live in a home, but not like those who live without the possibility of being kicked out of their homes. Friends in the States, it never crosses your mind the 'what-if' of being told to leave all your stuff and leave your country with no chance of returning. It's a most unusual perspective to adjust to. I hadn't thought of it as a possibility, as I said, until last month.

The expulsions continued for some time and the government said they had lists of dozens of people they planned to kick out that had yet to be contacted (and still have not). Others were under surveillance. Our friend's cell phone was tapped. All of this has made us pause on our plans. What does all this mean for us? For the future of work in this country? How best should we proceed? We are committed to being both wise and to walk by faith. The balance is hard to strike sometimes, but with God it is possible. Our leader arrives today and we hope to pick his brain on what this all means for us and how he would counsel us to proceed.

Meanwhile, we have made it to the third trimester of this pregnancy and I am finishing my formal French studies this month. Big H is speaking (English) more clearly and growing into such a delightful little boy. We are looking forward to a summer in the south and a visit from my parents during that time. We don't know what the fall holds for us yet, but I'm certain it is controlled by the hand of God and will be clear to us at the right time.

Waiting with anticipation,
Caravan Momma